The Essence of Humanity
by BeachBum13
Summary: Alice is in trouble. Her visions are hurting her, she smells wierd, she's tired. It's all so human, and impossible. Or is it? What if she was becoming a human? Can the Cullens save her? Or will they be too late?
1. Disturbia

It's been awhile since I've written somehting, so I hope you all enjoy this one! I've had the idea in my head for quite sometime!

DISCLIAMER: No, I do not own Twilight. If I did, the mutant spawn would not exsist, Bella would not have been such a whore-ish sex addict, Alice would have been the Alice we all know and love, Charlie would have never found out about vampires and werewolves, in fact, Breaking Dawn would've been good if I ownded it. No offense to all you BD lovers out there!

* * *

I sat cross-legged in my chair with my eyes closed and my face pressed up against the cold, smooth glass of the windowpane in my room. I was tired, more so than normal from my unusually painful visions, and I barely heard the soft snowflakes hitting the window. Normally, I would've been a little worried, but I was too tired to think now.

"Yes?" I asked as I heard someone knock on the door. "What do you want?"

"Hey Alice, you wanna go and have a snowball fight with Jasper, Rose and me? The snow is perfect!" Emmet exclaimed excitedly. I loved the snow, but not today.

"Sorry Emmet, but I'm not up to it today," I told him, opening one of my closed eyes to watch his expression, hoping he wasn't offended.

"You ok Alice? You seem a little off, you even smell kinda weird," he said as he looked at my exhausted features and tired eyes.

"I'm fine Emmet, go have fun," I shooed him away and drifted back into a strange dreamlike state.

In this "daydream" there was nothing. It was a terrifying, freeze-you-to-the-core, suffocating kind nothing. Suddenly it shifted, and I felt as though I was drowning, and a strange snow-white flower with blood-red tips on the petal, which looked like satin came into my mind. It was beautiful, the most beautiful flower I had ever seen, but as quickly as it showed, it disappeared and the nothing replaced it. It more terrible than before, with a maddening silence and the feeling of being watched...

I awoke sometime later with my family's concerned eyes gazing down on me. I tried to sit up, to ask them what was going on, but Jasper pushed me back down.

I opened my mouth in protest, but Jasper started before I could. "Alice, something, and we don't know what, is wrong with you. Carlisle thinks that you're body has begun to reject whatever change we go through to become what we are. Honey, you're turning into human."

The words shocked and scared me. A million things ran through my mind. Questions of what was wrong with me? and why me? came into my mind. But things also began to fit together, the painful visions, the overwhelming tiredness, the times I thought that I had almost fallen asleep, Emmet's comment about my smell. Something was wrong with me and by the looks on their faces, they didn't know how to fix it.

All I could think of was the flower, the beautiful snow-white and blood-red flower.

Please Review! Tell me what you think!


	2. Volterra

**Alright, here's chapter 2, as promised!! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanza (you do say happy right?)! **

**Disclaimer: words. go. here. **

I stared at the wall as we sat in the long silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was tense. They were trying to figure out how to save me, but maybe I wasn't suppose to survive, maybe it was my time to die.

Edward must've heard my thoughts, for he turned to glare and hiss at me. He broke the long silence with his sharp words. "You are not going to die, Alice! Don't you _ever_ think that again!"

"Think what? Edward, what was she thinking?" Bella, my new-born vampire sister asked, looking worried. She was always worried for us, never for herself. She had to be the most selfless person ever, besides Carlisle.

"She thinks she's not worth the worry. Alice thinks that she's not suppose to make it, that it's time for her to die," he told them. I continued to stare strait ahead as they all sucked in air and looked at me.

Jasper grabbed my shoulders and shook me, "What the hell Alice! You think we shouldn't worry about you?! Are you insane! Look at me Alice, look at me! Why would you even think about dying?"

I looked into the eyes of my soul mate, so full of pain and desperation. He was desperate for me to say I wanted to live, that we should save me, something that made sense.

But I couldn't. Instead, it was Carlisle who spoke, "I think that it's time we payed Aro a visit. I need to talk to him anyway, and he might have the answers we're looking for."

A trip to Volterra, it didn't sound bad, but I wasn't in the mood to be talked into joining him. Jasper's eyes brightened at he thought of Aro's answer, and I knew I had no choice. He wouldn't have to force me to go though, as he thought he might, I would go willingly. I would do anything for my family, anything for him.

* * * * * * * * * *

We arrived in Volterra the next day, to be greeted by vile little Jane and her horrid brother Alec, who were my least favorite members of the Volturi.

"Hello Alice," Jane said to me as we walked through the damp tunnels. "What happened to you? You look absolutely retched!" I could practically see the small smile on her face as she tortured me, and Edward thought _I_ was annoying.

I heard him chuckle behind me, and saw Jane turn to look at him, I made my move quickly, before she could see the pained expression on my face. "I honestly don't know Jane dear, that's why we came to see you."

I tried to sound innocent and dismissive of the thought as I could and I hoped she wouldn't catch onto how much this hurt. She never liked the fact that I would always be Aro's favorite if I were ever to join the Volturri, so she was always spiteful to me, and would be sure to use any form of emotional pain against me.

"Oh, I hope we could help you! It would be such a shame to have you back as a human! We would miss you so much, especially Alec and me. Right brother?"

"Of course, Aro would be very disappointed to see such power go to waste."

She scowled at the mention of Aro and his favoritism of me, and I had to fight back a laugh. "Yes well, here we are!" She said, abruptly changing the subject.

We walked in to the marvelous room, and Aro, Marcus and Caius all moved towards us. They were so beautiful, especially Aro, they all looked so frail and papery, like he would crumble at anytime.

"Aaghh, my good friend Carlisle! It has been to long!" Aro embraced his old friend. "I see you brought everyone today! Too what do I owe this pleasure?"

Marcus rolled his eyes as he kissed my mother and sisters' hand and hugged my brothers, you could tell hospitality was not his favorite thing. Aro came to me last.

"Alice, a pleasure as always, but, what is wrong child? You are not nearly as cold or strong," he asked me as he held my hand.

I opened my mouth to explain, but Esme cut me off. "We think her body is rejecting her being a vampire, so she is turning into a human." She said it so quietly and sadly that I instantly felt horrible for her, another child taken away form her would kill her.

"May I?" He asked, I knew what he meant as soon as he said it, he wanted a look inside of my mind.

"Of course." I responded.

He zoomed through my thoughts, my visions, but stopped at the beautiful flower and gasped. "What is that? I have never seen a flower like that before!"

"I don't know, but I've been dreaming about it for awhile, it's the only form my visions will take."

"Well, it looks like we're going to have to find out more about it, won't we?" He asked the rhetorical question as he looked in my eyes.

"Yes, it seems we will."

**This is Christmas/Kwanza/Hanukkah time! Please be kind and review!**


	3. Rainforest

We had only spent three days here in Volterra and had managed to find nothing on the mysterious flower that was forever burned into my mind. The only thing that really had happened was my getting, well,_ human_.

I never wished to be changed from my eternal form back into what some desired more than anything. To be honest, my becoming a vampire saved me. If whoever did this to me never did, I would never have met Jasper or any of my family. So many things would've changed, things that would've never happened.

My temperature had risen to ninety point six degrees, fatal for a human, but Carlisle said that it was the absence of blood in my dormant veins which had caused the lower temperature. My visions had ceased, save the flower, and I was stuck eating a mix of human food and blood, my body was not fully human yet. I needed sleep at night and I got frequent headaches, almost migraines they were so bad, yet there was a mystery to which even Carlisle and Aro together could not solve.

Which all led to my family being so stressed out that Jasper, who was so scared and stressed before, could barely stand it. I felt horrible knowing that all of this worry was because of me. They shouldn't have to fret, I would be fine in time, back to normal before they knew it. Well, as normal as a vampire with visions could get.

Time drew on and on as Aro and me, with the help of Bella and Esme, scoured book after book of mythology and biology to find the mysterious plant. We looked for hours (they looked into the night, I needed sleep, stupid humanity!) but much to everyone's dismay, we found nothing.

"There's nothing about snow-white flowers with blood-red tips in _Exotically Exotic Plants of Africa_," Bella said in defeat as she slammed the heavy volume shut.

"Nothing here either! How can there be no record of something like this?" Esme asked, frustrated. It was weird to see her this way, she was usually so calm and collected. Looks like she lost that air when her children were in danger.

"I don't know, my dear. This is eluding even my mind! Why, I have never seen anything like this in all of my centuries!" Aro declared. I hated this, I hated this so much!

I heard my breathe hitch strangely as it broke into a wild gasp. I felt my body go rigid as I fell towards the open book in front of me and into the darkness.

The flower was in front of me, but this time, there was more. It was by the strangest rock I had ever seen, this rock had what looked like to be a face with _fangs_.I noticed the blue-green light that filtered through the leaves. The air was heavy, hot and wet. _A rainforest, I'm in a rainforest! _

I was abruptly pulled from my vision and was look into the eyes of Aro, Bella and Esme.

"A rainforest, it's in a rainforest!"

**please review! it helps me out! and if you wanna see nayhting happen, let me know and i'll try my hardest!!!!!!!!**


	4. Eyes

_"Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me." - William Shakespeare_

**Previously:**

_The flower was in front of me, but this time, there was more. It was by the strangest rock I had ever seen, this rock had what looked like to be a face with fangs. I noticed the blue-green light that filtered through the leaves. The air was heavy, hot and wet._ _A rainforest, I'm in a rainforest! _

_I was abruptly pulled from my vision and was look into the eyes of Aro, Bella and Esme._

"_A rainforest, it's in a rainforest!"_

"Alice, do you know which rainforest it could be in?" Aro carefully and timidly asked me, as though afraid the slightest noise would send me into a frenzy.

"No, but I saw a rock, it was the most bizarrely unique thing I have ever witnessed! It was shaped like a human skull, but it had _fangs_. Fangs! Can you believe it? Do you think it means something?" I asked anxiously, hoping that this would soon be the end of my problems and I could be normal again, well, as normal as I ever was.

"Alice, calm down dear, you're scaring me," Esme said, her eyes wide with a fear and worry that I could not figure out. _Why was she sacred? What had happened? _

Bella noticed my confusion and looked at me with a frightened glint in her eyes, "Alice, your eyes, well, they're blue!" _Blue? Blue? My eyes, my lovely, treasured golden eyes, the eyes that Jasper loved so much, were blue?_ "And not a pretty blue, no offense, but a disturbingly knowing, haunting navy blue. It's terrifying Alice!"

I looked into her wide reddish-gold eyes, she was scared, terrified really, of _me_. _Of me_, her favorite sister and best friend. Hell, my_ mother_was scared of me! As I looked over at Aro, even he seemed a little distant and fearful at the sight of me.

What was wrong with me? Why did this have to happen to me? What did I ever do to deserve this torture?

I let out a blood-curdling scream of agony and frustration, something so in-human, so wild, I wondered about my sanity. To which caused Edward, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie to rush into the room at top speed.

Jasper was at my side in less than a tenth of a second, whispering into my ear as my face was pressed against the cold, marble floor. I did not want them too to see what I has become.

Jasper asked me what was wrong, why I screamed and if I was hurt. With each question asked, I felt like I was about to fall apart completely, which I could not afford to have happen. I needed to be strong for my family, but mostly for Jasper. He couldn't handle much more of this.

Edward read my mind and Jasper my emotions, because, before even I knew it, Edward and Jasper has pulled me upright into a sitting position. I shut my eyes tight, hoping to hide what had happened. Edward, of course, had already seem them. He pulled me into his lap and tried to coax me into opening my eyes. Jasper heard what he was doing which led him to whispering quietly into my ear again.

"Come on Alice, come on baby, open your eyes. It'll be ok," he told me. Reluctantly, I slid out of Edward's lap and onto the floor and opened my knew terrible in-human eyes.

They gasped in horror and Rosalie fell out of Emmett's embrace and collapsed on the floor. She moved slowly and carefully towards me, and wrapped her cold, stone arms around me. She ran her long, manicured fingers throw my short, spiky hair.

Rosalie was never like this, she was never this caring. I was so shocked and moved by her gesture that the sobs that threatened to break out before did, and along with them can a flood of tears.

I clutched onto my sister, holding her tightly, at least she could touch me after seeing what had happened. I loved her, even if she could be such an evil, materialistic bitch, and things like the only made me love her more.

Slowly, they all moved towards me as I cried. I clutched each of them tightly, Carlisle first and Jasper last. I stayed in his arms as he whipped away my tears in an effort to help comfort me.

Aro walked towards me, "Alice, if you don't, I would like to look at your most recent vision, maybe I can find out which rainforest our flower is in. I might even be able to find out what happened with your eyes." Gently, Jasper lifted me up and I took Aro's hand.

**please review! tell me if you loved it, hated it, anything!! i can always use constructive criticism!**


	5. Thump

**i'm sorry i haven't updated in forever, but my computer went mental on me, so i couldn't do much! but i'm back, and i promise to update as quickly as i possibly can! once again, sorry for taking so long!!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: i own nothing. obviously.**

"Her condition is getting worse by the hour, we have to act quickly if we want to save her," Carlisle said. I was in my room, supposedly at sleep, listening to their conversations outside my door.

"But Carlisle, what can we do?" I heard Aro's voice ask. "I do not know were to look for this flower!"

"Maybe the flower has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's nothing!" Edward replied, in my mind, within my very soul, I knew that he was wrong. The flower had everything to do with it. It, and it alone, was the key to my vampire-ism. I knew it, any other explanation was impossible.

"Ah, but she is so sure. I believe the flower is key."

"How can you believe her Aro! She's half insane with worry! How do we even know if it exists? What if she's hallucinating?" Edward cried, exasperated.

"I have seen it, the flower is real Edward," Aro calmly told him, "Alice believes it and so do I. We all should believe it, we have to trust her."

"Bu-"

"Hey, I think I found something!" Rosalie screamed excitedly, cutting her Edward off. I heard them rush off to see what was wrong, and decieded now would be a good as time as any to pretend I awoke.

I stalked into the enormous library, yawning as I went. I was still tired, I always was anymore.

"Wuzzgoinon?" I asked, surprised at how tired I sounded. They turned to look at me, and Rose immediately apologized for waking me.

"Rosalie seems to have found evidence of your elusive flower," Esme told me.

"It was in the_ oldest _book! It smelled horrible, but I think I found it!" Rose ushered me over, pointing to a flower on a yellow page of parchment. It was my flower, my snow-white blood-red tipped flower.

"Yes yes! That's it! That's the flower! Oh Rose, thank you thank you thank you!" I jumped up and wrapped my arms around her, tears of joy flowing down my face and onto her clothes.

"Hey, hey! No need to thank me!" She cried, squeezing me back. I felt so happy, so _elated_, it seemed impossible to bring me down. I looked over at Jasper, and upon seeing the small satisfied smile on his face, ran into his arms and kissed him as hard and ecstatically as I could muster.

"Calm down, love!" he said laughing, his laugh could...

I gasped, and fell limp in Jasper's arms. Down into darkness, with screams of and echoing "Alice!" filled my ears.

******

_Thump... Thump... Thump..._

_What is that?_I thought as I slowly awoke from what i can only assume was unconscious...or a coma. _Thump... Thump... Thump..._

"Jasper," I weakly said, opening my eyes to the bright light, "what's with the thumping? It's like a slow heartbeat or something?"

"Alice, baby, I don't know how to say this, but you're getting worse. You're heart has started to beat. You're human baby." his head fell into my stomach.

_No._

**sorry it's so short! but i'm tring to keep only a few surprises per chapter!!! review please!**


	6. Death Sentence

**I am so horrible, I know! I have been soo lazy at updating!! Urgh!! I'm so sorry, I wish I had more time to do this!! But I finally got to writing chapter 6, so here you are!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: yeah, I own Twilight. That's why I write this. Cuz I own Twilight.**

They managed to keep hope, when I had all but lost mine. I had to give them that, they were better than me. I knew nothing could save me, and venom was to risky. Carlisle had said my system was too unstable, we couldn't risk a complete shut-down. My once thought happily-ever after was turning to a disaster, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I was like a robot, mechanically making it through the day. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. I was a not the "person" I once was. I was freaky once-a-vampire-now-human Alice. And as if life could not get any worse, Jasper had shut-down as I had. He hardly talked, never fed, hell, he never even left my side. It was heart-breaking. I could care less about my being a robot, but Jasper? It was horrible, unthinkable, it tore at the strings of my frail heart.

This was the first time he left my side. Edward made him go out and hunt, and, after fighting a long battle, he reluctantly agreed (I had pouted, low, yes, but he needed it). So I sat bored out of my mind, listening to the radio, a top 40 station, which played International songs, some of which I could barely understand. I was not only losing my mind, but now my memory too.

_Urgh, stupid vision about nothing! _As the wanes drew me under once more. It was the same thing every time, always that stupid flower and dumb rock! It was so frustrating, I knew it was over, so why must I be tortured this way?

Thump..scream..thump...........thump......gasp..............................thump........................................thump........................beep. Menacing, blank, dead dark blue eyes stared up at me. It was a horrid seen, like one strait out of a horror movie, were the doctor is really a crazed serial killer who tortures his patients to death. Tubes were all over the small corpse, sharp needles were shoved into the cold, clammy skin. Blood was in her hair and on her clothes, and not just a little bit. _Pints. _It was not possible for her to have bled out like that. There was no way there was that much blood in such a tiny body.

I heard the sceams and cries of pain from what I could only assume was the small girl's family and friends. I felt bad for them, they had lost a daughter, a friend, maybe a mother.

I turned to look at them, and screamed as I saw my family clinging to each other, sobbing dry, dead sobs, screaming _my _name. I saw Bella and Edward, both with dead looks in their eyes. I knew I was their favorite, they were mine too. It killed me to see them like that. Rose was on the ground, sobbing, as Emmet wrapped his arms around her. It was strange to see my hard-shelled sister shrieking my name, it made me sick. Esme, oh god, she was messed up. She had lost so many children, and Carlisle, he hadn't done what he always had. He had let someone die. It was hell, a living hell, bent on torturing me.

I searched the room for the single soul to which my heart belonged. I turned to my body, were I saw him, staring into my body's dead eyes. I fell to my knees, knowing that he would do it. He would kill himself. No one could stop him.

"Alice Cullen, time of death, twelve o'clock midnight, Friday, July 30, 2009." I heard a strange voice say. Then, I opened my mouth and screamed.

I bolted upright as I awoke, screaming bloody murder from my vision. Bella and Rose rushed into the room, as I began to sob. They put their arms around me, telling me everything was alright, and that I was going to be fine. But I knew I wasn't. I had a death sentence. And in twenty-four hours, it will have happened.


	7. Road Trip

**alright, so you all want to kill me because i am the worst person in the world! and i am so so so sorry for that, but i hope that this makes up for it a bit!!!!!! enjoy! happy v day!**

**DISCLAIMER: yeah yeah yeah**

I sobbed as my sisters held me close, soothing me and asking me what was wrong. I wanted to believe every "it's gonna be alright, Alice," but after the gruesome vision, I couldn't. It was over, we had lost. I was going to die. It would only be a matter of hours now. I just hoped that I wouldn't be hooked to all of those machines when it happened. The picture came into my mind once more as Edward, closely followed by Aro and Carlisle, rushed into the room.

"Alice, what did you see? What was that?" Edward demanded as he grabbed my wrists, shaking me. It hurt, he held to tight, so I let out a squeak of pain as I shook my head, telling him _no _in my head. I couldn't tell him, it was too hard.

"Show me, please Alice!" He begged, again, I shook my head _no_, I said again. I couldn't bear to see the horrid images again.

"What is it Edward, what do you want from her?" Carlilse asked.

"She saw something, but she won't let me see it!" he was frustrated, but he was Edward, and being Edward made him never seem to be calm.

"Let me try," Aro strode aver and took my hand as I ripped it away, whimpering. "There, there Alice. You won't see a thing."

He was right, as I put my hand back onto his, I say nothing, only blackness as he raced through my vision. "Oh my," I heard him say, "it's worse than we thought. Little Alice has less than twenty-four hours left, _unless _we can find her flower, crush it, and mix it with what appeared to be blood and venom."

Bella gasped and looked at me while Rosalie pulled me close and hugged me. Edward fell into a chair and although Carlisle was shocked, he and Aro were already planing how they could save me.

"Hey baby," Jasper said as he looked into my room, "what's going on here?" He asked this more forecefully as Esme and Emmet came around the corner.

"Something new as come up.." Carlisle proceeded to tell them the newest details. Jasper jumped to his feet, wondering why they were standing there doing nothing when they should be getting the flower and saving me.

"That brings us a new problem. We don't know where this flower is," Esme said kindly. Of all the things to happen to Esme, a mark of death on one of her children had to be the worst.

"Well, it looks like we just might find out," Edward said as Jane breezed into the room.

"I believe that my dear brother and I have found what you have been looking for," the small, child-like vampire said with a slight smile. Who knew that helping me would bring a smile to her face, though it was probably the thought of impressing her master which made more eager to look.

"Yes, I believe dear Jane has," Alec said, sliding in behind her with a thick volume under his arm. he opened it to a marked page and passed to Aro. He read it over carefully, much slower than any vampire would need to, but faster than a human.

"I believe you have, dear friends," he said as Jane beamed. I rolled my eyes, that girl was so weird. "Alice, this is it, no?"

"Yes, that's it," I breathed as a million things popped into my head. I might survive, I could live again. I might not die. I got up and hugged Jane, who, even though she hated me, hugged me back. Maybe I was less of a threat now, I didn't really know. I don't think anyone really knew. But whether or not Jane hated me was not important now, we had business to attend too.

"Oh no, you aren't going anywhere. You will stay here with Rose and Bella while we go and look for this flower," Edward said, reading my ming. I scowled at him and sat down hard on my bed. _Stupid, mind reading brother. _He chuckled at my thoughts, so I stuck my tongue out at him.

"So, where is it at?" Carlsie asked Aro, ignoring our childish behavior.

"Deep in the Amazon, but it shouldn't be that hard. The unique rock formation Alice saw this by also has unique rocks, which are only located within a hundred mile radius. So, it shall be easy as pie, I think you Americans say," Aro said with a slight laugh. I smiled at him, he was old, yes, and he loved to collect things, but he was very kind and funny when he wanted to be.

"Yes, road trip!" Emmet shouted/sang out as he through his arms in the air. Rose got up from her spot next to me and smacked him on the back of the head. I laughed as he said "Damn Rose, I was just having fun," and, for the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt _hope_.


End file.
